The Comment that Changed How I See Humans

Years ago, a mentor said something that stopped me mid-programming.

“Most seniors don’t exercise because they want to be challenged. They’ve been challenged their whole lives. They want mobility, longevity, and independence.”

And I remember thinking:

…well that’s wildly different from the “burn more calories” “push harder” “no pain, no gain”

classes I had built my identity around.

Because suddenly the question wasn’t:

“How do I challenge people more?”

It became:

“What do people actually need from me?”

And then I went down a rabbit hole (as one does)

Not a casual Google.

A full spiral.

Human development. Psychology. Why we worry. Why we move. Why we don’t.

And what I found?

Wasn’t just helpful for coaching.

It explained… basically everything.

Because here’s the wild part:

Your worries change with age.

But the reason you worry?

Doesn’t.

Infants: “Am I safe?”

Babies don’t “worry” the way we do.

But they absolutely feel distress when:

• they’re hungry

• uncomfortable

• or separated from their caregiver

Because their entire world is asking one question:

👉 Can I trust that I’m safe?

This lines up with early development research showing that infants rely on caregivers to build a sense of trust and security.

Toddlers: “Can I do this… and still be safe?”

Now they want independence.

…but also:

• don’t leave me

• don’t change the routine

• don’t make this weird

They’re testing the edges.

👉 Can I explore without losing safety?

Kids: “Am I good at this?”

School hits.

Comparison hits.

Now it’s:

• Am I smart?

• Am I doing this right?

• Am I getting in trouble?

Because development at this stage is all about building competence.

👉 Am I capable?

Pre-Teens: “Do I belong?”

This is where things get spicy.

Friendships = everything

Being left out = devastating

Now the question shifts:

👉 Do I fit in?

Teenagers: “Who even am I?”

Identity crisis… but make it daily.

• Body image

• Social media

• Relationships

• Future panic

The brain is extra sensitive to social judgment here.

👉 Who am I becoming?

Young Adults: “Am I building the right life?”

Now we’ve got:

• careers

• relationships

• money

• purpose

👉 Am I choosing the right path… and the right people?

Midlife: “Does any of this matter?”

This is where things get real real.

• career satisfaction

• parenting

• aging parents

• meaning

👉 Am I making a difference?

Later Life: “Did my life matter?”

And this is where my mentor’s voice comes back.

Because at this stage, the concerns shift to:

• health

• independence

• reflection

👉 Did I live well?

Not: “Can I do burpees faster?”

The Part That Changed Everything for Me

Across all of this…

There are really only three core needs driving the entire human experience:

• Safety

• Connection

• Competence

(Backed by Self-Determination Theory—aka one of the most respected frameworks in psychology.)

Or in more human language:

👉 Am I safe?

👉 Am I valued?

👉 Am I capable?

And suddenly… everything made more sense

The toddler crying when mom leaves?

Not dramatic.

👉 Safety.

The 8-year-old melting down over a spelling test?

Not overreacting.

👉 Competence.

The teenager obsessing over social media?

Not shallow.

👉 Belonging.

The adult burning out trying to “do it all”?

👉 All three… at once.

And the fitness industry? (Let’s talk about it 😅)

For a long time, I built workouts around:

• intensity

• calories

• exhaustion

Because I thought that’s what people wanted.

But what my mentor was really saying was:

👉 People don’t need more challenge. They need more support.

Especially as we age.

Because when someone walks into a class in midlife or beyond…

They’re probably not asking:

“Can you destroy me today?”

They’re asking:

👉 “Can you help me keep my independence?”

👉 “Can I trust my body again?”

👉 “Do I still have control here?”

The MoveMaker Shift

This is why MoveMaker looks different.

Because it’s not just:

• movement

• music

• sweat

It’s:

👉 emotional safety

👉 confidence building

👉 nervous system regulation

It’s helping people feel:

• capable

• connected

• in control

Your worries evolve.

But your needs?

They’ve been the same since day one.

Safety.

Connection.

Competence.

So ask yourself…

What are you actually chasing right now?

• More control?

• More connection?

• More confidence?

Name it.

That’s where the real work is.

We spend our whole lives thinking we’re changing.

Different problems. Different goals. Different seasons.

But underneath it all…

We’ve been asking the same question since diapers:

“Am I safe, valued, and capable?”

And the most powerful thing you can do—

as a coach, a parent, a human—

is help someone answer:

“Yes.”

—

Snack-sized sentiments, full-sized feelings. Follow @MoveMakerInc for more everyday chaos and emotional clarity.